Cold
by coldfiredragon
Summary: Set immediatly following the end of the novel Inheritance by Devin Grayson. Roy finds Ollie and Dick in bed together. Green Arrow Nightwing slash, Roy angst.


**Disclaimer: Don't own the DC comics novel "Inheritance" by Devin Grayson that this story is based off of. Don't own the characters either.**

**AN: The novel "Inheritance" has a heavy Green Arrow/Nightwing slashiness overtone to it. A friend from Live Journal and I took both decided to write an Ollie/Dick slash story in which Roy finds. This was the finished product for me.**

**Reviews, love reviews. If I get enough of them I might write more.

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He didn't remember the drive from Gotham back to New York. It had been the middle of the night, freezing cold and even now that he was out of the cold he wasn't sure he could tell a difference. He was always cold, always cut off from the people around him. This time it was worse. This time the betrayal wasn't simply one folded. He had always known that Oliver Queen fell into bed with whoever caught his eye at a given moment and didn't give a damn about who he hurt in the process. The thought that he might hurt others didn't even cross the man's mind. This time it should have, it should have crossed one of their minds at least.

A sob escaped his throat as he collapsed onto his couch. The images kept replacing themselves, like a film reel that someone had forgotten to take off the projector. He buried his face in one of the couch cushions in a desperate attempt to muffle his sobs as his delicately maintained control failed him. It was almost as though an all consuming coldness erupted like a volcano that swept through every nerve in his body. He couldn't move, all he could do was lie there and cry as the images of his former guardian and his best friend replayed themselves.

Dick should have realized, even if Ollie hadn't the effect that their actions would have on Roy if he ever found out that they had slept together. Roy was sure that they hadn't intended to hurt him, Dick knew how much he resented Ollie for unintentionally hurting him as a teenager and he had thought that Dick wouldn't have done anything to hurt him intentionally. His friend cared about him more than that. Truthfully though, if Dick had actually cared about his emotional well being he would have rejected whatever offer Ollie had made that had caused Dick to jump into the man's bed in the first place.

The worst part of it was that neither of them knew that he had seen them together. When they had finally sent Deathstroke packing he and Ollie had agreed to stay an extra day in Gotham and Ollie had rented hotel rooms for himself and Roy. Dick had opted to stay at the manor with Bruce and Arthur and Garth had headed back out to sea because of their unique needs. Ollie had given him the spare key to his room and Roy had just wanted talk with Ollie for a while, to catch up and try to convince Ollie to come up to New York for a day so he could see Lian before heading back to Star City.

He should have left the second he entered the suite and heard noise coming from the bedroom. He could have come back to talk to Ollie later but Roy had always maintained a certain degree of destructive curiosity. It was the same curiosity that had made him enjoy risking his life at thirteen to fight crime, that had led to a drug addiction that had nearly gotten him killed, and that had caused him to fall in love with an assassin. He had never backed down from anything in his life and he figured a quick peek at Ollie's latest score wouldn't kill him either.

He had used every ounce of skill that being a superhero had taught him to sneak across the room and plaster himself against the wall that was shared with the bedroom. Ollie and whoever he was sleeping with hadn't even bothered to close the bedroom door and Roy knew from the experience in his own room that the bed was on the opposite wall from the door. The rustling of sheets and and panted half formed words were all he could hear and he peeked around the corner.

The room was dark and lit only by the lights that filtered in from the street and for a moment Roy wasn't sure who was in bed with Ollie. Then he heard whoever it was gasp out Ollie's name and it had hit him like a strike of lightning. Tears had welled to his eyes even as he watched and it had taken him nearly thirty seconds of silently screaming at himself to move and get out of there before his muscles finally obeyed the commands of his brain. By some miracle of fate he had managed to get out of the room as unnoticed as he had entered but by the time he made it into the hallway his tears had clouded his vision enough that he had to stop and wipe them away. He had leaned against the wall for a moment and forced himself to will back the sob that had attempted to to rip itself from his throat.

The world had been spinning slightly as his mind desperately tried to comprehend what about him influenced the people closest to him to hurt him. He had vague memories of asking Dinah that question when he had been in the middle of his heroin detox on her kitchen floor. He had never gotten an answer from her and the question had plagued him, even as it had lost a lot of its weight over the years. As he had stood in the hallway and tried to rationalize why Dick and Ollie were in bed together the weight of that question had come back and he had desperately wondered what he had done to be abandoned yet again by the last person he truly trusted. He could accept that Ollie had hurt him again. It was an option that had always hung in the back of his mind but he had never expected Dick to turn on him as well, at least not like that.

It had taken all his effort to force himself away from the wall and begin walking towards the hotel room that Ollie had reserved for him. He made it into the room and immediately begun throwing his things into his bag. He had realized that he could not stay there because he knew that if he saw either one of them he wouldn't be able to hold himself together. It had taken less then ten minutes for him to gather his things and make it to the hotel lobby and it had taken every skill he had learned since he was thirteen to school his expression into one that didn't scream I just saw my surrogate father screwing my best friend. He walked to the desk and had given the woman a half-hearted smile.

"I need to turn in my key. Something came up at home and I need to head back tonight instead of tomorrow. A friend of mine was taking care of my room and I have one of his keys for room, 517." He laid the two keys to his room and the spare key to Ollie's room on the counter. "Can you let whoever is on duty in the morning know that this key has already been turned in?" The woman had nodded and accepted the keys as Roy turned and made his way towards the parking garage. He unlocked his car and threw his bag into the back seat. He barely remembered opening the convertible top or driving through the traffic of downtown Gotham. All he remembered of the drive home had been the coldness of the wind against his skin.

More tears sprang to his eyes as he continued to remember the thirty plus odd seconds that had sent his relatively controlled emotions plunging into an ice cold river. He felt as though he were freezing and completely unable to get warm. The sheer sound of pleasure that had haunted Dick's voice as he cried Ollie's name and the obvious care that Ollie had taken to make sure that Dick was enjoying every second of it made his already unstable emotional state that much more unstable and now that he was lying on his couch he couldn't stop crying. He felt like he had on the night that Ollie had swept into their tiny low rent apartment ranting about how Hal was "takin' orders from little blue men from another planet" and how he was going to "show him America – the real America" before abandoning Roy for a four month cross country drive in a beat up blue Ford truck. In his absence Roy had turned to heroin to soothe his hurt feelings but the drug had only truly taken away his pain the first time he had used it.

It wasn't fair that Dick and Hal had gotten what he had always wanted. He had fought tooth and nail for thirteen years to be the sole object of Ollie's attention and affection for longer than five minutes. He had wanted Ollie to show the same focus in caring for him that he gave to every woman, or man as Roy now realized, that climbed into his bed. He remembered how desperately he had wanted to be invited to go along with Ollie and Hal when they had set out on their little cross country trek. And how once they had gone he had tried to escape his loneliness by turning to drugs. The attempt hadn't worked, it had helped for brief periods of time but it had never worked. Right now he would give anything for the detachment he had felt the first time he had tried heroin. He just wanted to forget the sound of Ollie's name on Dick's lips.

He didn't know if he was ever going to be able to face either man again. They were the two people he trusted most in his life. Ollie might have abandoned him but he had eventually come back around and accepted Roy back into his life and Dick had been his best friend for years. He couldn't see himself ever looking either man in the eye with a degree of respect ever again, not without hearing Ollie's name on Dick's lips. The very sound of it was branded into his memory and he didn't know if he could ever stop crying or if he would ever feel anything but the all consuming coldness that currently gripped him.

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